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Author Topic: Smehoterapija - arhiva  (Read 1417044 times)
 
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Boro Prodanic
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« Reply #13290 on: April 14, 2014, 07:02:16 am »

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Bozo13
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« Reply #13291 on: April 14, 2014, 12:22:13 pm »

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Boro Prodanic
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« Reply #13292 on: April 15, 2014, 06:42:38 am »

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« Reply #13293 on: April 15, 2014, 06:43:40 am »

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proxy1969
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« Reply #13294 on: April 15, 2014, 08:00:19 pm »

Kome se ne ide u školu stranih jezika, kratki tečaj/kurs engleškog...

Dje si, bolan = Where are you sick
Taman posla = Dark of the job
Mnogo sam se sekirao = I axed myself very much
Kama Sutra = Big knife tommorow
Pricam sam sa sobom = I am talking alone with the room =
Racunaj na mene = Calculate on me
Cekanje u redu za hljeb = Waiting All Right for Bread
Ivica i Marica = Edge and Police Van
Sta ima? = What has?
kom obojci, kom opanci = To whom feet wrappers, to whom Serbian peasant shoes
Ko te sljivi = Who plums you
Ko te sisa = Who cuts your hair
Zasto da ne = Why yes no
Nosi se = Carry yourself
Ljigavo ponasanje = Lubricated behaviour
Ima petlju = He has a loop
Od pamtivijeka = Since remember country
Obrisi se = Erase yourself
Tekuca pitanja = Liquid questions
Dapace = Yes, little duck
Uzeti zdravo za gotovo = To take healthy for over
Od malih nogu = Since the little legs
Da li biste me preveli na drugu stranu ulice = Would you translate me on the other page in face
Malo sutra = A little bit tomorrow
Maloprije = Small before
More bre = Sea, brother
Idi begaj = Go escape
Voditi racuna = to lead the bill
Samoubica = only killer
Napet sam =I am on five
Hajde da igramo karte = Let's play tickets
Dva jaja na oko = Two eggs on eye
Kad bih imao samo malo vise vremena = If I only had a little more weather
Dijelim vase misljenje = I divide your opinion
Ona je u drugom stanju = She is in second stage
Na licu mjesta = On the face of the place
On je svjetla tacka = He is bright full stop
Preveo ga zednog preko vode = He translated him thirsty across the water
Spetljao se sa njom = He looped himself with her
Zelim da se naslonim na tebe = I wish to elephant on you
On je kuje u zvezde = He blacksmiths her in stars
Sta ti pada na pamet = What is falling on your brain
Pucali smo od smijeha = We were shooting from laughter
Ne vredi ni pisljiva boba = He is not worth a pissing bean
Kome ti to = To whom you this
Pijan je ko majka = He is drunk as a mother
On je velika marka = He is a big stamp
Iz cista mira = Out of clean peace
Da pojedemo nesto s nogu = Let's eat something from the legs
Fotokopije = Photo-who-drinks
Upala misica = The in-fall of little mouse
Kopile = Who-chicken
Naslon = On-elephant
Supruga = Are-railway
Blago tebi = Treasure to you
veni, vidi, vici = Fade, see, jokes
Sve sto je izgubljeno moze se povratiti = Everything that is lost can be thrown up
Pop-pjevac = Priest-singer
sve je gore i gore = Everything is up and up
Oci boje duge = Eyes colors long
Usmjereno obrazovanje = Directed cheeking
Idi u dupe na vashar = Go to the ass on the fair
U kom grmu lezi zec? = Which bush hides the lying rabbit?
Znam te koko dok si jaje bila = Chicken, i knew you while you were an egg
Drzi vodu dok majstori odu = Hold the water until the repairmen leave
Poljubio je zatvorena vrata = He kissed the closed door
Kud puklo da puklo = Where cracked yes cracked
Um caruje, snaga klade valja = Mind rules, power rolls the logs
Ko umije, njemu dvije = If you know how, you get two
Vidjecemo cija majka crnu vunu prede = We shall see whose mother knits the black wool
Uzdaj se u se i u svoje kljuse = Trust yourself and your horse
Za dobrim konjem prasina se dize = A cloud of dust follows a good horse
Vrag s tobom gloginje mlatio = May the devil beat hawthornes with you
Ko o cemu, baba o ustipcima = Who about what, grandma about doughnuts
Poklonjenom konju u zube se ne gleda = You're not supposed to look at the teeth of a horse you got as a present
Ne mozes i jare i pare = You can't have both lamb and the money
Kad na vrbi rodi grozdje = When the willow gives birth to grapes
Cizma glavu cuva, subara je krasi = A boot keeps the head, shubara decorates it
Videla zaba da se konji kuju pa i ona digla nogu = A frog had seen that horses were getting shoed, so she too lifted a leg
Ko rano rani dve srece grabi = Who early earlies, two lucks grabs
Ni po babu ni po stricevima = Neither according to father nor according to uncles
Daleko ti lijepa kuca = Let your pretty house be far away
Zivi bili pa videli = Let's be alive, and we'll see
On mlati praznu slamu = He's beating the empty hay
Ustani kume da sjedne sviraceva majka = Get up, best man, let the musician's mother sit
Lezi hljebu da te jedem = Bread lay down, 'coz I'm gonna eat you
Prvo skoci pa reci "hop" = Jump first, then say "hop"
Sira i vojne muzike = Cheese and military music!
Zasviraj i za pojas zadeni = Play up, and fit it into your belt
Otis'o si, sarmu probo nisi = You've left before you tried stuffed cabbage
Sjasi Kurta da uzjase Murta = Get off Kurta, let Murta ride
Nema odmora dok traje obnova = There's no holiday during a reconstruction
Riba ribi grize rep = One fish eats the tail of another fish
Dosla maca na vratanca = A kitten came to the small door
Gdje svi turci tu i mali mujo = Where all the turks, little mujo as well
Doc' ce cica na kolica = Cica will come on carriage
Ne trazi dlaku u jajetu = Don't look for a hair in an egg
Ko kosi a ko vodu nosi = Who mows and who carries the water
Slazu se ko rogovi u vreci T= hey're defragmenting like horns in a bag
Lupas kao maksim po diviziji = You're banging like maxim on the division
Boze mili cuda velikoga, kad se scase po zemlji srbiji = Dear god, the strange events when euphoria was all over serbia
Ubio si ga k'o zeca = You shot him like a rabbit
Ko mene kamenom ja njega planinom = Hit me with a pebble and I'll hit you with a rock
Pljunuti otac = Spitted father
Nema zime kuco stara = No winter old house
Mota ga oko malog prsta = She's winding him up around the pinkie
I mi konja za trku imamo = We too have the horse for the race
Na muci se poznaju junaci = Heroes are recognized during suffering
Ko sa decom spava, upishan se budi = He who sleeps with children, wakes up wet
Mudo labudovo = Swan's nut
Ko se jednom o mlijeko opece taj i u jogurt duva = Who got burnt from milk, blows into buttermilk
More bit' bidne, more bit' nebidne = Could be to be, could be not to be
I babo bi sine = Daddy would too, son


NARODNE PJESME - COUNTRY SONGS

Op zica zica zica drma mi se kabanica = Hey wire wire wire my raincoat is shaking
Hocemo li u Shabac na vashar? = Shall we go to Shabac on the fair?
Ne klepeci nanulama = Don't knock with clugs
Mali mrav, mali mrav, u nedrima nest'o = Little ant, little ant, disappeared into the cleveage
Sa Ovcara i Kablara cobanica progovara = A sheperdess echoes in the valley
Suve sljive i orasi, mi smo diko siromasi = Dry plums and walnuts, diko we are poor
Moj Milane, jabuko sa grane = My Milan, apple from the branch
Milorade, bekrijo, sve si pare popio = Milorad, you drunkard, you've drank all the money
Sta ce nama soferima kuca = What good is a home to us, professional drivers
Na kraj sela cadjava mehana = On the edge of the village - sooty tavern
Mujo kuje konja po mjesecu = Mujo hammers the horse on the moon
Majka Muju shishala na struju = His mother used to give electric haircuts to Mujo
Vino pije Kraljevicu Marko, pola Marko pije, pola Sharcu daje = Kraljevic drinks the wine, half he drinks, half he gives to Sharac
Zlatibore, pitaj Taru da li pamti ljubav staru = Zlatibor, ask Tara if she still remembers her old love
Idi kuci obuci se, lele dunje ranke = Go home and dress, dear oh dear, early quinces
Trakto trakto traktorce, vozi Mile motorce = Traco, traco, little tractor, Mile drives a tractor
Ja vragolan i moj djeda = Me - roguish and my grandfather
Stani, stani Ibar vodo = Hold on, hold on, Ibar water
'ajde Jano konja da prodamo = C'mon Jana, let's sell a horse
Udje Fata u magazu sama, za njom udje Mujo, zamandali vrata = Fata came to the warehouse alone, followed by Mujo locking the door
Bolujem ja, bolujes ti, bolujemo od ljubavi = I'm sick, you're sick, we're love sick
Levo, desno, nigde moga stana, oj ulice i ti si pijana = Left, right, my flat is missing, oh street, you're drunk too
Biljana platno belese = Biljana was whitening the linen
Kad sam bio mladjan lovac ja = When I was a young hunter
Hajd' u kolo, Rado = Come to colorado
Gdje si duso, gdje si rano = Where are you, soul, where are you, wound
Krcmarice, daj nam vino to = Bring some wine, saloon lady
Ja brdom, brdom, brdom a devojka dolom, dolom = I walk the hill, hill, hill, the girl walks valley, valley
More Marko, ne ori drumove! = Sea Marko, stop ploughing the roads!

NASELJENA MJESTA - ONVILLAGED PLACES

Sarajevo = Sarah is an ox
Dedinje = He belongs to grandfather
Mali Losinj = Little bad city
Novi Sad = New USA
Skoplje = Castration City
Subotica = Saturday city

ZEMLJE - GROUNDS
Nemacka = No cat
Italija = And that fox

LICNOSTI - IMAGINESSES

Neda Ukraden = No yes stolen
Dado Topic = Yes to little cannon
Ruzica Sokic = Little rose little juice
Ivica Osim = Edge except
Alija Izetbegovic = But I and brother-in-law escape
Vlada Divac = Goverments giant
Zarko Paspalj = Sparkwho dogburn
Predrag Danilovic = Overdear dayandhunt
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Milan (longtrip)
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« Reply #13295 on: April 16, 2014, 12:08:04 am »

Dolazi Medvedev kod Putina i nervozno mu predlaže da ukinu više ove vremenske zone. Pita ga Putin:
• Zašto?
• Pa ne snalazim se više, odletim u drugi grad, zovem kući a oni svi spavaju, prošli put tebe budim u 4 ujutro, a mislio sam da je veče. Zovem Angelu da joj čestitam rođendan, kaže bio je juče, predsedniku Kine Novu godinu, kaže da je sutra.
• Ma dobro, to su sve pizdarije - govori mu Putin.
• Ma kakve pizdarije...sećaš se kad se srušio onaj poljski predsednički avion?
Ja zovem da im izjavim saučešće, kaže čovek da avion još nije ni poleteo... Wink


Tokom predavanja na medicini profesor objašnjava studentima:
- U sastavu ljudske sperme najveći postotak čine jednostavni šećeri.

Na to jedna studentkinja glasno komentariše:
- Ako je sperma puna šećera, zašto onda nije slatkog ukusa?

U tom trenutku shvati šta je rekla i padne od sramote pod sto, a amfiteatar se trese od smeha.

Profesor, mrtav hladan, odgovara:
- To je zato, koleginice, što se receptori za slatko nalaze na vrhu jezika, a ne u dubini grla...  Grin


Srpska svadba ..." s južnu prugu"


- Zamoljavaju se gosti da si sednu, devojke `oće kite !

- Moli se mlada da ne srče supu, smeta na ozvučenju !

- Mole se deca da se ne igraju lastiša s' kablovi od muzike ! 'Fala !

- Moli se mlada da siđe sa astala, jerbo trunjavi supu !

- Zete... ti nemo' da ješ' gofna,..... a vi gosti izvol'te !

- Mole se gosti da ne bacaju kosti po pod, će izađe torta na kolica !

- Zamoljavaju se gosti da ne bacaju bombe, iskače sarma iz tanjiri !

- Mole se gosti da ne pipaju pevaljku s' masni prsti !

- Mole se pijani gosti, da ne pišau po instalacije, da ne pogorimo ki paučina !

- Mole se gosti iz ćoška šatre da se ne vesele uz pesmu koju sam ja naručio !

- Mole se gosti što dođoše s beloga juga ......registarske table "Kee Šee" 312..... da ga preparkiru, treba da uleti `ladnjača s`torte !

- I mole se gosti da ne unesuju oružije pod šator, mladoženju zovu fazan !
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Milan (longtrip)
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« Reply #13296 on: April 16, 2014, 12:14:56 am »

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MOTORISTA
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« Reply #13297 on: April 16, 2014, 06:58:53 am »

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« Reply #13298 on: April 16, 2014, 07:00:34 am »

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« Reply #13299 on: April 16, 2014, 07:01:58 am »

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« Reply #13300 on: April 16, 2014, 07:03:43 am »

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« Reply #13301 on: April 16, 2014, 07:05:16 am »

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« Reply #13302 on: April 16, 2014, 10:38:00 am »

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Boro Prodanic
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« Reply #13303 on: April 16, 2014, 01:59:47 pm »

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« Reply #13304 on: April 16, 2014, 02:00:50 pm »

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